I can genuinely say I wake up everyday a happy human. Don’t get me wrong, I have my rollercoaster days too. And lately, the days have had more loops than hills but it all boils down to me finding a large dose of confidence in myself on those upside down days. The “can I, will I, should I’s” Ya gotta dig deep when there is no one around to pick you up and how the heck do you do it? It’s like that one lost sock you can’t find in the laundry. This is me, 5am, pondering, trying to figure it all out as I stared at myself in the mirror, laughing at my crazy morning hair and the makeup I forgot to take off, I had to remind myself to first walk away from the mirror, eek, second—to get out of my own way, its so much more than a “you’ve got this” sometimes and I think that’s the secret right there—finding motivation in deleting the ego & lecture my own ass in saying girl...it’s not about you. Well, It is, yeah, yeah, it’s my journey— I get that. yessss, but when I’m digging for that ounce of confidence outside of my own little bubble and need to communicate with other people orrrr when I’m connecting to spirit— it’s about them, period. At the end of the day, when ego is removed and kindness, compassion, strength, courage, etc.. all that good, yummy stuff takes its place— the universe gives back. hashtag: TRUTH! and then ya go get coffee. done.
FEAR. We’ve made it such a crappy word, havent we? We make up these stories in our mind that push us down, hold us back and allow the lies to prevent the life that we know we are truly meant to live. (false evidence appearing real) Not too long ago, I printed out this illustration that is now taped over my desk. (see image) It’s an angel gently holding the face of a demon. What I loved the most about it, is that you don’t see the fear--only love, kindness and compassion. The demon isn’t trying to scare her off, manipulate or decieve her. Instead, you see and feel a sense of surrender, acceptance and forgiveness. I can’t express how relevant this is for me in my life right now and OH, how I knowwww, I’m going to have to dig deep and reach into places of myself that are going to kick my comfort zone in the ass. But, what if.... like the illustration, instead of fearing that space inside myself, I hold it gently by the face, showing it love, kindness and compassion? What if...it becomes a catalyst for the life that I am meant to live, knowing that it will drive me if we allow it to? What if... fear like all emotions becomes a best friend, giving me the courage to leap, to be okay when I fall, because I know I am going to pick myself back up and to keep going no matter what. What if. Just, what if? —Angelique Illustration source: Bethaleil @deviantart